During my first pregnancy, everyone treated me extra special. My husband pampered me and made sure that my craving was always satisfied – a bowl of steaming hot lugaw (rice porridge) all day every day. I spent most of my time sleeping because my mom wanted me to take a good rest before the baby comes. The attention was pretty overwhelming at times, especially when people seem to breathe down my neck, but it was fine. It was my first time and I knew I needed all the love and support I could get. With baby number two, however, things weren’t the same. Those around me recognize the fact that I am no longer a first-time mom and that I survived my first pregnancy with flying colors. No more reminders to take my vitamins or to schedule my next check-up because I never forget to do so anymore. I guess the biggest change now is that I cannot afford to just focus on my pregnancy alone because I have a toddler to take care of. I can tell early on that having a new member in the family will be a different roller coaster ride as no two pregnancies are the same.

Here are some examples:

THOUGHTS

First pregnancy:

I was so excited and nervous. I always thought of how my baby would look like. What characteristics would she inherit from me and from her daddy? Basically, my thoughts were just about her.

Second pregnancy:

When I became pregnant with my second child, the first thing that came to my mind was my first child. As much as we would want her to be a big sister, I can’t help but get emotional with the thought that she will no longer be my only child. I know my first child is excited to have a sibling but how would she feel when the baby is already here?

GETTING ADVICE

First pregnancy:

I got a lot of advice from everyone. People seemed to be very generous in sharing their experiences with me. Since I don’t have any idea about pregnancy, I listened to every one which only made me confused.

Second pregnancy:

With my second one, I don’t get any advice at all. Maybe because they think I don’t need it since they assume I already know what to do.

STRETCH MARKS

First pregnancy:

I bought pregnancy creams in the hopes that it would prevent stretch marks, but, unfortunately, it didn’t. I got so sad having to see them on my breasts, lower abdomen, and thighs.

Second pregnancy:

I didn’t bother to care anymore. I still have my old stretch marks and will most probably develop new ones but I already accepted it as part of being a mom. Embrace your stripes, mothers.

BODY CHANGES

First pregnancy:

Every time I noticed something was different with my body, I easily got sad—sometimes I even cry about it.

Second pregnancy:

Aside from my stretch marks, I have a bulging tummy, sagging breasts, big nose, and dark under eye circles. Bring it on. It won’t make me feel depressed anymore.

SYMPTOMS

First pregnancy:

It was an easy pregnancy for me. No morning sickness for me. My first trimester was a breeze.

Second pregnancy:

Just when I thought it will be easy peasy again, it isn’t; I have morning sickness which makes it difficult for me to eat. I even vomited my favorite food. How depressing! I get dizzy and easily feel exhausted most of the time. All I want to do is stay in bed and sleep all day.

PREPARATION

First pregnancy:

Before the baby arrived, I subscribed to weekly update emails to learn about my baby’s development as well as what fruit size she already was. I remember when I received an email saying I was on my 11^th week of my pregnancy and that the baby was as big as a Brussels sprout. (To be honest, I did not know what it was until I googled it, and I found out that it wasn’t even a fruit). I read pregnancy articles on what to eat and what to prevent. I even bought a baby book so I could document and remember all her milestones.

Second Pregnancy:

Most of the time, I forget how far along I am in my pregnancy.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I don’t love my upcoming baby as much as I love my first child. It is just that it’s not what it was like before where you can focus with just one kid. I’m still excited that we will be welcoming another member to our family though. My husband and I will love this baby as much as her sibling. That’s a promise.

Photo by Josh Bean on Unsplash